about today

umm.. belakangan banyak yang ngomong gini sama gue, “udah, nin, tenang aja.. you lose some, you get some.. ini artinya Allah udah nyiapin yang lebih baik lagi buat lo..”.

and you know what? tadi malem i was in my hotel room at grand jatra, pekanbaru. terkapar.. badan dan kaki gue pegel banget abis puter-puter pabrik plywood sekaligus liat HTI-nya calon debitur. sampe pekanbaru jam 12, eh.. masih diajak makan duren sm calon debitur gue (udah gila kali tuh orang..) gara-gara gue bilang, “oh, kalo duren siy keluarga saya maniak banget..”. anyway, back in my hotel room.. akhirnya jam setengah 2 pagi gue baru bisa berbaring nyaman di kasur.. sambil kriyep-kriyep, gue nonton tv.. out of nowhere, there was this line i heard from a movie, “what if it’s a decoy, to distract us from something fifty times bigger?”

i was like.. oookayy.. what’s happening here? is the whole universe trying to say something to me?

but sometimes, i feel like i don’t want something fifty times bigger.. i’m satisfied with what i have.. so, please give it back to me? please?