another good song

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought wed get to see forever
But forevers gone away
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I dont know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where weve been
And what weve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope its worth all the wait
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

-it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday, indeed… (taken from boyz II men)

about today

umm.. belakangan banyak yang ngomong gini sama gue, “udah, nin, tenang aja.. you lose some, you get some.. ini artinya Allah udah nyiapin yang lebih baik lagi buat lo..”.

and you know what? tadi malem i was in my hotel room at grand jatra, pekanbaru. terkapar.. badan dan kaki gue pegel banget abis puter-puter pabrik plywood sekaligus liat HTI-nya calon debitur. sampe pekanbaru jam 12, eh.. masih diajak makan duren sm calon debitur gue (udah gila kali tuh orang..) gara-gara gue bilang, “oh, kalo duren siy keluarga saya maniak banget..”. anyway, back in my hotel room.. akhirnya jam setengah 2 pagi gue baru bisa berbaring nyaman di kasur.. sambil kriyep-kriyep, gue nonton tv.. out of nowhere, there was this line i heard from a movie, “what if it’s a decoy, to distract us from something fifty times bigger?”

i was like.. oookayy.. what’s happening here? is the whole universe trying to say something to me?

but sometimes, i feel like i don’t want something fifty times bigger.. i’m satisfied with what i have.. so, please give it back to me? please?

fall again - glenn lewis

It feels like a fire that burns in my heart
Every single moment that we spend apart
I need you around for every day to start
I haven’t left you alone
Something about you, I stare in your eyes
And everything I’m looking for I seem to find
All this time away is killing me inside
I need your love in my life

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall in you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

Ohhhh (etc.)

Fought in a battle, nobody won
And now we face a mountain to be overcome
You can’t turn away, the past is said and done
I need us to carry on

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

la la la la la, whoa (etc.)

You tried everything you never thought would work before
When you live, when you love, and you give them your all
You can always give up some more
Baby nothing means anything unless you’re here to share it with me
I can breathe, I can bleed, I can die in my sleep
Cause you’re always there in my dreams

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

Ohh, la la la (etc.)

You again

* i just did..

it’s easy..

.. to make me happy.

just call.. and ask everything about me.. and pretend like nothing ever happened.. and just be cool.. like you used to..

.. to make me smile again.

just ask my opinion.. whether it’s necessary or not to meet again.. and i’ll say yes.. and wish everything be okay in the end.. like i used to..

another perfection

yang ini gue dapet dari sebuah siaran pagi di radio favorit gue. jadi ceritanya suatu hari, waktu gue lagi gloomy-gloomy-nya.. menyetir di tengah kegilaan lalu lintas jakarta di pagi hari, suasana hati morat-marit, dan kalo ngga salah waktu itu vita (asvita asgingging, sahabat gw di kala senang dan susah, di pagi hari maupun di malam hari) lagi ngga berangkat bareng gue, bung PPW alias panji pragiwaksono wongsoyudo lagi bercerita mengenai kesempurnaan. apa siy arti kesempurnaan sebenernya?

kalo kata bunda dorce, well.. she always says this on her show.. kesempurnaan adalah milik Allah, sementara kekurangan selalu milik dorce.. (okay, take it.. it’s all yours.. hehehe..)

terus kadang kan suka ada ya orang yang pengen kerjaan yang sempurna, gajinya bagus, tunjangannya sangat menentramkan, jam kerja fleksibel, job desc sedikit, dapet internet sepuasnya, jatah cuti unlimited, dan sebagainya dan sebagainya..

terus ada juga yang pengen punya mobil yang sempurna, bensinnya irit, perawatannya murah dan mudah, ngga rewel, harganya murah, ngga banyak yang pake, resale value-nya tinggi, dan sebagainya..

nah, menurut bung PPW… kesempurnaan itu sebenernya bukan mengenai bahwa lo bisa dapet semua hal yang bagus-bagus dalam setiap aspek kehidupan lo, tapi justru ketika lo bisa menerima kekurangan dalam setiap aspek kehidupan lo. jadi misalnya gini.. mobil lo itu bukan yang paling bagus, harganya agak mahal sehingga cicilan mobil lo agak membuat sakit leher, tapiiii bensinnya irit, dan lo senang dengan hal itu.. ya udah, mobil itu sempurna buat lo..

ato ngga pekerjaan lo membuat lo ga pernah bisa pulang tenggo, sementara kebijakan perusahaan mengenai remunerasi agak bikin sakit hati.. tapi lo seneng, lingkungan kerja lo enak, bos lo sangatlah perhatian sm anak buahnya sehingga tanpa diminta pun dia mau fight ke manajemen untuk memberikan benefit lebih khusus buat anak buahnya. dan the most important thing is, you can learn a lot from what you’re doing so that your value will increase and so will your pricing.. sehingga lo merasa nyaman dengan pekerjaan lo. so perhaps, that’s your perfect job.

intinya adalah.. memiliki sesuatu yang sempurna bukan berarti harus semua yg bagus-bagus.. bunda dorce emang bener, kesempurnaan emang cuma punya Allah.. dan sempurna ala manusia adalah ketika kita bisa menghargai dan menerima ketidaksempurnaan dan kekurangan yang ada.. pada diri kita (sehingga kita menjadi manusia yang sempurna), pada kerjaan kita (sehingga kerjaan kita adalah kerjaan yang sempurna bagi kita), pada rumah kita, pada keluarga kita, pada pasangan kita..

bos gue (raja pardede, bapak-bapak batak yang tegas sekaligus kocak) juga pernah bilang.. instead of looking for a perfect partner, why don’t we be a perfect partner? i guess that also makes sense.. it’s so hard and time consuming, looking for perfect partner. but maybe it would be much easier to do when it comes to trying to make ourselves a perfect partner, because it’s us who control ourselves since we don’t have power to control others.

but honestly, being a good person is not easy at all.. and it’s never enough actually.. market demand is always increasing.. while the supply will always be limited..

isn’t life fun?

perfect

pernah denger persamaan logika kayak gini ngga,

setiap mamalia berkembang biak dengan cara melahirkan

ikan paus adalah mamalia

ikan paus berkembang biak dengan cara melahirkan

nah, tadi gue ngobrol sm hendra (temen SMP-SMA gw yg lagi jadi TKI di jepang ituh..). awalnya siy ngebahas shout-out gue.. yg melibatkan jennifer aniston. dia nanya maksudnya apaan.. ya gue bilang, persis ky yg gue tulis di situ.. bahkan jennifer aniston aja bisa dicampakkan *halah.. campak?*, jadi ya sudahlah.. emang udah takdir aja kali.. hehe.. nah, terus dia bilang kalo nobody’s perfect.. iya, gue setuju banget. tapi terus dia tambahin lagi, “tapi i’m nobody, nin..”. maka, dengan demikian.. gue langsung terjemahkan pembicaraan itu ke dalam rumus tadi, jadinya begini:

nobody’s perfect

i’m nobody

i’m perfect

menurut lo gimana?

ikhlas

i had this conversation with one of my gal. she said her reverend once gave speech about how people could easily emphatize when their friends were in deep sh*t. but people sometime found it’s hard to be happy when their friends were happy, without any jealousy or envious feeling, even a bit. well, i could not say i disagree, because ya.. i did it all the time. and so did my gal. the red line was that.. so hard to be ikhlas. to accept whatever we have, without any disappointment and overexpectation. even when my mouth says “gw ikhlas”, it’s hard for me to say that i purely consciously truly am..
few things occured lately were very precious experiences. they taught me there will be no such thing as eternal and immortal. they’re not really my belonging, so i should never be disappointed once they’re taken from me.again, it’s easier said than done.
anyway, i’m an okay woman.. an okay woman gotta do what an okay woman gotta do.. to be ikhlas in every circumstances she’s facing.. =D