konstruksi sosial

kmrn ada pembicaraan ky gini antara gw sm salah seorang sepupu gw:

dia: gimana mobil kamu?

gw: ya udah aku masukin ke bengkel yg aa bilang. aku udah tes dulu kebenaran bengkel itu, "mas, kmrn sempet ngerjain mobil stream biru ya?". terus kata mas2nya, "oh, iya.. punya siapa tuh, pak ari ya? yg anaknya balet di depan kan? kmrn juga temennya baru masukin tuh, pak idris ya?". oh, berarti bener dong niy bengkel yg aa tunjukin..

dia: iya, si pak suwarna..

[singkat kata.. pembicaraan masuk ke topik berikut..]

dia: lha, gimana siy, neng.. namanya juga bengkel cat.. ya selain ngetok udah pasti dicat juga lah.. emang kamu kmrn ngomongnya gimana sm dia?

gw: ya aku bilang, "dibenerin aja dulu, pak.. ngecatnya belakangan.."

dia: yeee.. gimana siy.. ga bener niy.. suruh dong si pacar nemenin.. [perhatikan kalimat berikut!, -red] emang siy gimana2 kamu musti tau sendiri, ngerti soal bengkel segala macem..tapi kan kalo ada yg cowo yang nemenin jadi lebih aman.. gimana siy, emang pacarnya ke mana.. bukannya nemenin.. payah juga..

aku: aku emang ga bilang dia mau ke bengkel siy..

dia: yeehh.. gimana siy niy anak..

aku: males ah, ribet..

dia: ya bukannya gitu dong, aah.. payah juga. nanti lama2 aku ploncoin juga niy..

aku: [berusaha santai, -red] iya, mustinya dimanfaatin ya..

dia: ya bukannya dimanfaatin.. tapi itu kan emang udah seharusnya dong dia nemenin. ya.. gimana dong, udah hal yang umum lah dalam relationship..

aku: [mulai loading niy otaknya..] ya iya siy, tapi emang aku ga bilang dia juga aku tadi ke bengkel..

dia: oh, emang ga bilang. kalo itu siy lain soal, bukan salah dia. kenapa dong kamu ga bilang dia, minta dianterin gitu.. ya kalo itu mah gpp.. kecuali kamu udah minta anterin terus dianya ga mau, nah.. baru deh nanti aku plonco dianya..

pembicaraan di atas terjadi kmrn siang. jadi paginya itu gw masukin mobil ke bengkel, biasa lah.. kecelakaan di jalan raya jakarta. apalagi kalo ngga ke’senggol’ motor2 gila itu.. anyway, gw ke bengkelnya emang sendirian, maksud gw ga sama cowo [baca: bokap slash pacar slash sepupu] yg notabene dikondisikan sebagai makhluk yg paling ngerti soal perbengkelan. alesan gw? ya males ngeribetin orang aja.. kalo bisa dikerjain sendiri, kenapa musti ribetin orang lain.

intinya adalah, emang musti ngeribetin orang lain? to be specific, emang musti sm pacar ke bengkelnya? kenapa siy? takut diboongin sm tukang bengkelnya kalo dateng sendirian, dengan catatan gw dodol bgtd soal perbengkelan? takut di-mark up tagihannya karena tukang bengkelnya ngebenerin yg udah bener?

entah kenapa, gw kemakan omongan sepupu gw itu.. entah kenapa gw ngetes pacar gw.. [yg hingga siang itu blm ngebales sms gw.. uhhh.. menyebalkan.. btw, ini berhubungan dg kalimat di atas yg gw highlight tadi..]. jadi kan gw tanya, kenapa ga bales sms gw. jawabnya, "oh, ga sempet..". terus tiba2 bilang kalo nanti malem mau buka barengan sm temen2 kuliahnya [padahal gw udah nge-take dia utk buka bareng di rumah nenek gw, -red]. ternyata, pas gw bilang gw hari ini mau ke bengkel lagi, he didn’t even offer a companion.. naik pitamlah gw. singkat kata: ngambek.

ada beberapa poin yg bikin kepala dan hati gw bergejolak saat ini, berkaitan dg yg gw ceritain di atas..

1. emang ke bengkel HARUS ditemenin pacar? kalo pacarnya terlalu insensitive dan sebodo teuing untuk nawarin nemenin gimana? salah ngga kalo gw jadi sebel padahal sbnrnya buat gw ngga masalah kalo ngga ditemenin?

2. are men really insensitive? or is it just because their women are pictured successfully independent so that men thought ’she’ll be okay!’?

3. boleh ngga siy sbnrnya kalo smp saat ini gw masih ngambek karena merasa ngga diperhatiin, JUST BECAUSE ngga ditawarin ditemenin ke bengkel dan kok bisa bgtd ke kantor siang2 karena malemnya mo pergi sm temen2nya?

4. is ‘curhat-colongan-worldwide’ a crime?

—cape—

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sempurna

kau begitu sempurna, di mataku kau begitu indah. kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu. di setiap langkahku, kukan selalu memikirkan dirimu. tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu. janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku, takkan mampu menghadapi semua. hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa. kau adalah darahku, kau adalah jantungku. kau adalah hidupku, lengkapi diriku. oh, sayangku, kau begitu sempurna. kau genggam tanganku, saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh. kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku.janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku, takkan mampu menghadapi semua. hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa. kau adalah darahku, kau adalah jantungku. kau adalah hidupku, lengkapi diriku. oh, sayangku, kau begitu sempurna.

lagu yg bikin orang mau mampus dimabuk cinta..

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old buddies die hard, old enemies die harder

i was at my room, tidy up some corner.. not on my intention, though. my old man asked me to. i don’t really like cleaning up my room.. not until i have my own ’somewhat’ encouragement from deep inside. i’m a lazy kind of person, and too busy with outer self also, that is work.. work.. work.. it causes me neglecting my inner self, my room, my car, my house, my social and personal relationship. it’s bad.. i know.. i’ll come with it later..

so i was in my room, as i said before. looking for a book i bought, to be given to my best buddy who is about to leave the country for some time, looking for wider knowledge and experience on other side of the continent. i found the book, finally. but i also found another stuff.. my high school uniform! fulled with my friends’ signatures and farewell words. in a second, i had a flash back memories. it was wonderful at that time, though..

high school was one of my favourite history. i spent 5 years in the city of heroes, and 3 years of it was in high school. 2 years of my high school moment were the time when i lived separately from my family. i spent my 24-7 times mostly with my friends. i couldn’t remember one second without them. again, it was wonderful.

i was at class 1-5 for a year, 1998-1999. my first year at high school.. yeah! started to wear grey skirt.. the feeling was like.. i’m grown enough. it started with freshmen’ orientation.. quite fun, though. we were so close one to another. regardless those complicated subjects (grade 1’s physics was so horrible.. i could hardly manage..), the rest of the years was so much fun. joined the softball club, high school legislative council (hell, yeah!), crush on seniors (hi, kak willy.. kak aswin.. =D), and also.. heartbreaks.. at that time, i had a very terrible heartbreak. the one i wouldn’t ever forget. especially because it was my first time having an intensive relationship with my opposite sex, and it was memorable. few days after the break-up, he hooked up with another girl in school. can life be more pathetic than that? =(. yes, it can.. i was trying to find ‘rebound-someone’, with the hope to be able to get over my heartbreaker boy. it turned out that the rebound-boy didn’t like me at all. so, yes.. ‘ sendiri lagii.. seperti dahulu.. tanpa diriiimu.. di sisikuu..’

anyways, my first year was also wonderful because one thing. my class won the SKJ and ‘tarik tambang’ competition on Independence Day Fiesta. it might be nothing for you, but it was great! the spirit of independence blended with togetherness and warm friendship. those are amazing!

let’s continue to my second year at high school. heartbreak mode was almost off. one of my former classmates said that he liked me. i didn’t know what was in to me at that time, but we hooked up for like 3-4 months. he was a junkie, thank you very much. and to make it worse, he drank BAYGON (yes, you got that right) when i told him that it was over, and slept on my front yard waiting for me to come out and to see him and to cancel the break-up. it was something.. i tell you.. especially because i lived in a company’s housing (kompleks BI, jemur andayani.. kangen..). so my neighbours were my dad’s colleague.

skip that lousy story, we’ll come into the thrilling part. it began when my junior high boyfriend asked me to come back. i said yes.. well, i thought so.. it was good actually.. we tried to manage what we had not in the past. but unfortunately, he lived in other city.. capital city of indonesia, which -they said- is crueler than stepmother. hehehe.. and sooo, i fell into this former classmate. i received an e-card that was so lovely, that i thought was from him (the moral of the story: jangan terbujuk rayuan lelakiiiii..). end of story (maap ya, confidential!).

third year.. hmm, spending my days with studying, hanging out, going to the mall, chitchatting.. began to join the school bull gang.. boys were everywhere.. i felt comfort and protected.. and threatened at the same time. alcohols, cigarettes, cannabis were there. but it was fun making friends with them. it made me tolerant and insensitive at the same time.

i was the one who always screamed ‘the teacher is comiiingg!!’ every time i saw teachers coming toward my class. i also had a click consisted 8 girls, who had diary of our own where we wrote almost everything. mostly, unimportant! we made chocolate on valentine’s day and made phone calls for the one who was absent that day, just to greet her to get well soon.

i experienced ‘tawuran’ also at that time. some nuts students from other school attacked us. bloods, rocks, metal sticks were few things i saw. pretty scary.. but it was once in a lifetime experience. interesting..

not forget to mention, i started to compete in some debating competitions. it was one fine experience. i was once asked to participate in a competition called ‘miss alpha link’, and i was like.. who..hoa… no, thank you. they were trying to get me walking back and forth in a stage like a supermodel or something. no way..

unfortunately, my third year in high school was also my last year in the city of heroes. i had to leave my friends with all those memories behind. i was so blue that i felt like.. lost. thinking to start a new life away from them, it was so hard.. my friends were like my home. and i felt like losing my half when i left the city.

well, here i am now. 6 years after leaving those beautiful moments. i really miss my high school time..

there are lots of stories i haven’t told here, about my high school moments. just wait for the sequel.. =D

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