hatred. missing someone. ego

i hate it when i miss my other half. especially when i hate him so much. especially when he hurts me so bad.

i could’ve called him. i could’ve come to him. i could’ve hugged him. but i didn’t. too selfish, too self-centered, too much ego.

he shouldn’t have said that. he shouldn’t have done that. he shouldn’t have been that. no, he shouldn’t.

why wouldn’t he called? why wouldn’t he come? why wouldn’t he hug me? it’s not there anymore? it’s gone for sure?

i miss him. i want to see him. i need to tell him he’s nothing.. but completely everything.

another part of me says no. i deserve more. i can’t stand it.