what are we fighting for, anyway?!!
Again, I’m not trying to teach each and everyone of you, by writing this.. I was just intended to share my thoughts and experiences..
Is there anyone of you who has been in some sort of situation which is pretty depressing, kind of ‘bikin-makan-ngga-enak’ thing, and it is caused by disappointment or some kind of dissatisfaction with your loved one? I mean, certainly, your ‘pacar’?
I do moan everytime about my loved one. Why can’t he be someone who understands me, appreciates every single thing i do for him, takes me as I am, puts some trust in me, and the rest of unimportant things I could think of. As I don’t realize how imperfect I am, I show all those dissatisfaction and disappointment by being in such an anger, ‘ngomel2′, shouting at him, and all those bad stuff. What I get, you ask? Nothing.. except my loved one is also pissed off with those bad attitudes I’m demonstrating. Huhuhu.. very huhuhu.. And it all ends with.. a fight.. which doesn’t worth fighting for.
It goes the same thing with my loved one, I mean when he feels dissatisfied or dissapointed with me. As I said before, it all ends with a fight.
At first, I was thinking that it’s not good for your health to keep a fight unsolved. I would do anything to have myself and my loved one agreed on what committed and there you go.. our problem solved. Mission accomplished. Having a fight unsolved and letting all your problems be your nightmares (literally) are a total disaster for me. I can’t work well, food doesn’t taste that good, everything I do is a total mess. Can life be more horrifying than that?
But then, some experience made me realized.. that things can’t go as we want them to be. The more you push it, the more it stays away from you. And all you get is nothing but another dissapointment and dissatisfaction. Or even complete lost.
Those bad feelings make me even crazier than before. The feeling of being afraid of losing my loved one gets me out of my mind.. so bad that I even can’t think clearly and logically. My bad, I know..
So then, now.. I learn about these few things..
- Take a very deep breath, move backward, put some space between you and your loved one, and think! Put yourself in his shoes, try to emphatize, and just feel it, think about it.
- Sometimes we have to let our fight unsolved, give ourselves and our loved ones a break, a time to think it all over again. So that no anger and emotional urge left, and with clear and logical thinking every problems will be done well.
- Every fight we’re in, should be considered as a way of making our relationships stronger and better, instead of surrounding yourself with negative thoughts that soon this something we have be over and there’s no way this fight will find its way out.
- For me, slap myself back and remind myself what my loved one and I have all this time together, all nice things and sweet sayings he gave me. And inspite of all his ‘not-enough-for-me’ things, there’s a lot of things I love about him and I might not find it anywhere else, better than him.
- Just dig in and find out that love is able to conquer all those hatred. If, there IS that love in there.
Above all this, I would like to say, again, just be thankful.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)just ignore..
.. what i wrote today..
it was just pms.. hopefully.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)……………….
I’m gonna live my life
Like every day’s the last
Without a simple goodbye
It all goes by so fast
And now that you’ve gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
Gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite
There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is an empty chair
And now that you’ve gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
And now that you’ve gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
hatred. missing someone. ego
i hate it when i miss my other half. especially when i hate him so much. especially when he hurts me so bad.
i could’ve called him. i could’ve come to him. i could’ve hugged him. but i didn’t. too selfish, too self-centered, too much ego.
he shouldn’t have said that. he shouldn’t have done that. he shouldn’t have been that. no, he shouldn’t.
why wouldn’t he called? why wouldn’t he come? why wouldn’t he hug me? it’s not there anymore? it’s gone for sure?
i miss him. i want to see him. i need to tell him he’s nothing.. but completely everything.
another part of me says no. i deserve more. i can’t stand it.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)losing.. lost..
losing is a feeling i fear the most. lost is something that costs.
i never like losing.. anything. so does everyone, i’m sure.
the idea of losing is about not feeling and enjoying what’ve been our routinity and habit, anymore.
it’s about belongings, relationships, persons, everything.
and losing, never gives space for us to prepare. it happens when we least expected. we’ll never be ready.
just when we thought we’re losing, it’s not really yet. it’s there. we’re too blind to see, too ignorance to realize.
just when we thought we still got it, it’s not really there. it’s gone. we never know, too blind to see. too ignorance to realize.
hurts a lot to know it doesn’t belong to you anymore. feels empty inside, torn apart, clueless..
hard for us to say it doesn’t stay there anymore. alone, despair, crying..
but it’s also sad to admit, we can’t afford it. we’re never meant to be it. we should not belong together.
craving for more. reaching for the shore. hoping for before.
to see that far, it’s easy. long gone.. still waiting to come.
to see the upfront, it’s difficult. nearby.. it’s for us to be home.
no, it’s never easy.. of losing.. lost.
while it’s there.. no cost.
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