DISSATISFACTION OR ENVIOUS?

Last night, someone said to me that he wanted me to be his.. (ciyeeee.. ihhiyyy..) I’m not sure.. but it’s not like I don’t have any feeling for him or so ever, since I’ve been expecting him to say so since few years ago. But I don’t know, I’m just not sure with myself. It’s gonna be my other long distance relationship, and I don’t know whether I can handle it this time, or is it going to end soon like the previous ones..

The thing is, people never get satisfied. Or maybe I’m just the only one. The words he said last night have been expected to come out of his mouth for the last four years. I don’t know what for, but I consider it as a proof of his sincerity and his truly intention to ask for something from me. Once he said it, should be enough for me because that was exactly what I’ve been looking for. But then, it didn’t end up like that. I’m still thinking of many things that might happen in the future if I said ‘yes’. Is it stupid or just anticipating?

Udah gitu ya.. makin ke sini, gw kok makin ngeliat orang-orang di sekitar gw makin cihuy, makin kebuka masa depannya, makin maju, makin oke segalanya. Yang udah lulus pada udah kerja (di tempat trendy pula!), yang udah married udah pada ‘isi’ semua (bahkan ada salah seorang sahabat gw yang baru aja married sama salah seorang teman masa kecil gw di

Sulawesi

sana

..), yang masih skripsi juga perkembangannya dahsyat banget (bahkan ada aja yang udah dapet kerjaan pas masih ngerjain skripsi. Sementara gw.. (lagi-lagi.. omongannya Nina banget.. tipe orang-orang mengandung iri dan putus asa..), ya elah.. transkrip aja ngga kelar-kelar, pembimbing gw pada ke mana, aduh.. gimana dong.. (mulai panik.. mulai panik..)

Wo bu zhi dao wo yinggai zenmeyang. Wo xihuan dang ci wo.. wo yinggai feichang ganxie gei Wo de Tian.. =(