lagu favorit saat ini

one day, i was on the way to the office with vita, teman seperjalananku ituh. suddenly, there was this song stunning me. and now, mas dicky, one of my colleague, plays that song over and over again.

this is the lyric..

Mengapa Kita Bertemu
Bila Akhirnya Dipisahkan
Mengapa Kita Berjumpa
Tapi Akhirnya Di Jauhkan

Kau Bilang Hatimu Aku
Nyatanya Bukan Untuk Aku

***

Bintang Di Langit Nan Indah
Dimanakah Cinta Yg Dulu
Masihkah Aku Disana
Di Relung Hati Dan Mimpimu

Andaikan Engkau Disini
Andaikan Tetap Denganku

Reff :

Aku Hancur Ku Terluka
Namun Engkaulah Nafasku
Kau Cintaku Meski Aku
Bukan Di Benakmu Lagi
Dan Kuberuntung
Sempat Memilikimu…

Back To ***

Engkau Mengatakan
Merindukan Diriku Lagi
Ingin Ku Sampaikan
Ku Tak Hanya Sekedar Itu…

*crut banget ngga siy, vit? hohoho..

mr brightside- the killer

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never…
I never…
I never…

blurry - puddle of mud

tale of a mellodrama queen

i’ve always been a mellodramatic kind of person. i cry easily.. yes indeed.. you don’t need to give me those mellow song, story, movie or whatsoever.. i can even cry remembering something’s touching.. silly, i know..

so i watched this third movie of x-men: last standing. this is one of my favourite movie of all time.. not only because i looove x-men (hugh jackman, i love youuhh..), but also because the movie has this one of the most romantic scene i’ve ever seen.. (again, it’s me.. mellodrama queen talking.. =D). so this is the dialogue:

jean grey : would you die for them?

wolverine : not for them.. for you!

jean grey : save me..

wolverine : i love you!

and so, wolverine stabbed jean grey right through her chest.. and there, jean grey died..

i think i’m going to cry again..

Salah - Coklat

Usahku menepis rasa
Rindu yang mendera jiwa
Kau buat aku tersiksa

Lemahku lemah
Tak berdaya

Reff:
Salahkah bila
Ku tak henti mengharapkannya
Meskipun akhirnya
Ku tahu dia hanya membuatku terluka

Going Away

Saying good-bye has never been an easy job to do for me. There’s always some kind of strange feeling inside of me every time I have to such thing. Even though I know I eventually will meet again with someone or something I say good-bye to.. Even though they say there’s nothing eternal in life, therefore we must be prepared for saying good-bye to what we have. But yet, it has never been an easy way for me.

The fear I face every time I have to say good-bye (or even a ‘see-you-later’ term) is that the possibility of being in the place where there’s no other time to see the very thing I say good-bye (or ‘see-you-later’) to again. I’m so afraid.. well, who doesn’t anyway, does it? The most fearful feeling is losing, for that I’m positively sure.

I drove my loved one to the airport this afternoon. Not the first time, in fact, been there done that many-many times before.. either me or him who left. Each and every time I experienced either me or him who left, has never been an easy way for me. Seeing myself, my car going away, walking slowly to the exit, generated an empty feeling inside of me. It actually hurts. The question ‘will I ever be able to meet him again?’ hangs inevitably in my head. I almost cried, but I thought my tears won’t stop the plane from leaving anyway, so what I did was to pray for his safety and there would be no delay.

I know I should’ve been ready for whatever separation might take us from being away from the one or the thing we love. It’s not something new anyway; it’s destined to be that way. But how am I going to be able to face it easily, in a modest way, in a most simple way? How am going to do such thing? I’ve been through the exact same situation like many times before; did they make everything easy for me? Unfortunately, no, they didn’t.

Ah, then again.. it’s a matter of feeling. There’s no exact guidance of what to do, and how to do it, when it comes to feeling. Not a single person can determine how we manage our feeling, because it is ourselves who are able to decide what to do with it. Sounds stupid and silly? Let it be that way. The pain and the joy are things we feel inside, when no one’s around.

moral of the story

My favorite radio has this program, which has a very good tagline: there’s always two sides in every story. I, myself, was one a journalism student. We have always been brainwashed that news we are writing should be based on cover-both-side principle, which requires us to have and to search on opinion, information, and data from at least two parties. It would help us to find nearly objective, fair, and less judgmental story.

The principle is very inspiring. I’m always trying to do the same thing, especially regarding things to do with my life, values, and way of thinking. I’m a very virgo kind of person. I tend to judge everything, situation, place, event, and even people. The last one has always been my favorite (and yours too, right, beck? =D). Anyway, being a judgmental person is sometimes hard to do. I do attribution many times (attribution = claiming of causes of things wrongfully), and perhaps that’s the reason why it would turn into negative thinking. To make it worse, I’m ‘panic-at-the-disco’ kind of person, so.. yes, it’s so hard for me sometimes.

Frankly speaking, in the end of the day, the moral of the story reveals. In fact, the true one does. But to get there, there’s a long way to go. It involves tears, confusion, being lost and not knowing where to go, and the worst out of it: unnecessary mental breakdown. And most of it, it reveals when things gone better.

It happened to me like many times, but each time had always been hard for me. Although I know eventually the truth will show, but the very situation I’m in at the time always be disastrous. And every time it’s over, the same relieved-feeling grows in me. In the end, all I do is be thankful. But still, it’s so not necessary to be panic, negative-thinking, and all silly things I do at that time.

So what I was trying to say is that it’s hard at first, but it will be sweet in the end. The moral of the story never come at front, so just be patient.. let go the stress and do some self-pampering activities. The moral of the story will reveal unexpectedly and incredibly amazing.

bribing

as we all know, i currently become a great fan of gossip girl series. it all started when i decided to buy a complete series of season 1 gossip girl, when i went to ambas last monday. since then, i spent most of my holiday at home watching blair, serena, dan, chuck, nate, and jenny. honestly, i was stunned about how money can really buy almost everything, including happiness. but on the other hand, i also surprised that love can conquer all, including class and social status differences.

speaking of which, i just got a visit from my aunt and her children. her late husband was my father’s youngest brother. he passed away last year because of cancer he had for few years. anyway, we were having this conversation about our other cousin. so this cousin of mine happens to have a father who is a plastic surgeon. we can tell by the occupation, the old man really has quite a thick pocket.

so this cousin of mine started to buy her friends. she’s only 16 now, let’s call her ‘cahaya’ (yes, as in that sinetron.. hehe..). she’s going to a very famous public school nearby blok m. apparently, the way she’s making friends is by buying them, giving them some money so that they stick with her. her mother even verbally said to her friends, “nanti kalo udah lulus SMA, jangan tinggalin cahaya ya?”. everytime her friends come to her house, her mother will always provide them with interested goodie bags: money.. money.. money.. but in trade, they have to be ready to be her servant, as in carrying her shopping bags, being available everytime she needs them, and all stuffs.

this cousin of mine also has a very unique sense of style and fashion. she’s a big fan of louis vuitton. she even becomes one of LV’s loyal customer, so that whenever LV has a new bag, she’s always well informed. and the next day, she’ll be carrying IDR 25 mio in cash to her school, in order to be at LV store afterwards and pay for the bag she purchases. yes, in cash, my dear.

rumour says, she has IDR 200 thou as her daily pocket money. and spending IDR 10 mio per day for average budget is one of the family’s routine. to treat her friends? fancy restaurants are the choices, including ritz carlton hotel of course.

and to make it even more fun (if i may not say “worse”), whenever she’s up to some exams at school, her mother must have sent her nanny to school, to give her teacher some amount of money, and voila.. good grade is all she has..

well, after all, we’re born with the same blood, with different destiny. what can i say? =D

till then.. i know you love me.. xoxo..

-fan of gossip girl-

another good song

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought wed get to see forever
But forevers gone away
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I dont know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where weve been
And what weve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope its worth all the wait
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

-it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday, indeed… (taken from boyz II men)

about today

umm.. belakangan banyak yang ngomong gini sama gue, “udah, nin, tenang aja.. you lose some, you get some.. ini artinya Allah udah nyiapin yang lebih baik lagi buat lo..”.

and you know what? tadi malem i was in my hotel room at grand jatra, pekanbaru. terkapar.. badan dan kaki gue pegel banget abis puter-puter pabrik plywood sekaligus liat HTI-nya calon debitur. sampe pekanbaru jam 12, eh.. masih diajak makan duren sm calon debitur gue (udah gila kali tuh orang..) gara-gara gue bilang, “oh, kalo duren siy keluarga saya maniak banget..”. anyway, back in my hotel room.. akhirnya jam setengah 2 pagi gue baru bisa berbaring nyaman di kasur.. sambil kriyep-kriyep, gue nonton tv.. out of nowhere, there was this line i heard from a movie, “what if it’s a decoy, to distract us from something fifty times bigger?”

i was like.. oookayy.. what’s happening here? is the whole universe trying to say something to me?

but sometimes, i feel like i don’t want something fifty times bigger.. i’m satisfied with what i have.. so, please give it back to me? please?